Living with depression: My own perspective

I’ve been down this week. No particular reason, just on a low ebb. It happens from time to time. My job at SoMedia is going great (almost two months now!) and I love the people, culture, and everything the company is doing.

But, depression doesn’t really care about that. Sometimes, the smallest thing can start the cascade down, and regardless of all the tricks I’ve learned over the years, I can’t always stem the tide of sadness. I just can’t.

Today I wanted to get a lot of writing done; Catherine and I have a book to finish and I have another book to start. Dawdling isn’t an option right now. But, for the past week I haven’t been able to be productive on the weekends. Last weekend I just recharged. I know I need that to keep myself on an even keel. This weekend I wanted to hit things head on.

I couldn’t.

On the other hand, I’ve learned that if I’m feeling creative in another way when I’m a bit down that I should roll with it and do that. Being creative, the whole aspect of creating, helps me. A lot. Throw in an app I’ve been dying to put to good use…and we’ve got something.

I’ve been really impressed with Haiku Deck. I tried the first version that came out and just knew that it would be a great tool for my non-teaching presentations. The problem has been I haven’t had a non-teaching presentation to give for a while.

Then today I felt inspired. I wanted to see if the combination of simple words and photos would help me express how I’m feeling. I wanted to see if using Haiku Deck to tell everyone about what is stirring in my mind would kickstart something.

It did. Here is the result:

Created with Haiku Deck, the free presentation app for iPad

I always approach a public declaration about my struggle with depression with more than a touch of trepidation, but I stand by the feeling that by speaking out I might help someone else.

So there it is. I suffer from depression. I take medication for it daily. I try to keep my feelings in check, but I don’t always succeed. Today I let all the feelings out and now I feel better.

Now I might be able to bring some focus to my thoughts….in fact I’m sure of it.

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